This ….may just feel a little confronting.
not here to shame anyone..as I am here for your excellence. But I am also not going to beat around the bush in order to tip toe around the truth.
The woman who nags you and the woman who cannot fully trust you in bed, is having the exact same experience of you.
Nagging, can seem like this personality flaw that is akin to a splinter in the heel of your foot that you cant see but can definitely feel….. and is often said to be described as a woman who is being difficult, annoying, demanding and even shrill.
Yet for the most part, nagging is the result of when she has asked for something, been told it will happen, and then watched it not happen. Again. And again.
Nagging is the back ground anthem of eroding trust.
what does this have to do with how she shows up in the bedroom?
When a woman cannot trust that you will follow through on what you say, and she is managing the household, holding the mental load and is constantly having to chase and remind you for the things you committed to, her nervous system is in a chronic state of low-grade vigilance. She is, energetically, always slightly braced. Always half waiting for the ball to drop.
And a woman cannot open her body in a state of vigilance.
Physically and neurologically, she cannot.
The same nervous system that is tracking whether you paid the bill or booked the appointment or had the conversation you promised to have whilst she is mentally keeping track of the household as well as her work, is the same nervous system that governs her capacity for pleasure and surrender to openess in the bedroom.
If she cannot trust you outside of the bedroom, she will not trust you inside fo the bedroom. You cannot be unreliable outside the bedroom and then expect her to be fully available inside it.
Her body keeps the score.
….now to your body in this situation.
Premature ejaculation, lasting less time than you want to, feeling like you cannot quite stay present, the part where your body is “get me out of here” ….is almost never purely physical in otherwise healthy men. PE is a nervous system response.
This nervous system of yours that rushes, cannot stay or slow down and cannot be fully present, is the same nervous system that avoids confrontation, avoids the hard conversations, that says yes to things and then does not do them.
Underneath both of these patterns lies the discomfort of being truly accountable and fully there. In the kitchen, in the conversation, and in the bed.
Ejaculating quickly is, in many ways, the body’s version of leaving before it gets too real. Before the intimacy deepens past what feels manageable and well before you are truly seen. Premature ejaculation is often about “get me our of here” so I dont have to be fully present, vulnerable and face myself or her.
This is not a conscious or deliberate act, but one that has been set up in your system over many years of not being comfortable or feeling emoitonally safe with who you are or with who you are with.
read that last paragraph again ….
Lover..
The work of Tantra is about learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. The uncomfortable part of holding your power ( until you are comfortable with it….)
Of sitting with yourself in the face of another that is dissapointed, angry or wants you so fucking deeply that they want ALL of you…for a very long time…
Tantra is about staying present wiht it all and alchemizing that in your body…
this is the power of mastering your ejacualtion.
And you do not have to some Tantric Yogi to do so…
Just as you go to the gym to build a a certain muscle group, just as you learn to woodwork so you can build kitchen benches, just as you learn some new Ai tech skill to streamline your business, you learn how to separate your ejaculation from your orgasm so you can last for hours and days…. true f*cking story !!
it is not as complicated as you may seem it is.
Dont beleive me?
Join FULLY CHARGED to find out how…
We are now starting on August 13th ( due to way too many tech issues in the last month ) ..
so that means you have more time to get your sexy ass into th e6 weeks that will change your life and your relationship.
YOU are worth it.
I truly look forward to supporting you this way
Because the man who can be trusted to do what he says he will do, and the man who can stay fully present when it matters most …..are the same man. He is the one who gets seeked for by his lover for sex……..
She has been waiting for this for a long time.
Always with Pleasure
M
❤️
Melissa Louise is an UPLVL Coach working with men, women and couples on emotional accountability, nervous system safety, and the intimacy that becomes possible.
If you want to work with me privately book a discovery call here