Photo taken on my 50th Birthday a few years ago…. 💋
There is a study that has now been replicated across 145 countries.
It maps human happiness across a lifetime and it produces the same shape every single time. Happiness starts relatively high in your 20s and 30s. Then it dips. It bottoms out somewhere around 47 to 50. And then, without exception, across all cultures and continents among vastly different life circumstances, it climbs.
By your 60s and 70s you are among the happiest you have ever been.
Researchers call it the U-curve, but me and my friends, we call it “no more f*cks given”
We have been sold a story about aging that is specifically designed to keep women small, spending, and afraid. ( of themselves )
Buy the cream.
Fix the lines.
Inject, cut and fill.
Chase the youth.
Perform the version of yourself that is still somehow palatable and visible in a culture that has decided your value expires somewhere around the time your periods stop.
Well lovers…it is a lie. And a very profitable one at that
The body…..your glorious, intelligent, completely unbothered meat suit, has been doing something quite different this entire time.
Self esteem in women peaks at age 60. Not the Instagram famous influencer (what exactly we are all still trying to figure out) number of 25. And not the decade when everything looked tightest and most Instagram-able worthy..nope.
Sixty.
By 55, research shows most women are more confident than they were at any previous point in their lives.
They speak up more.
They stop tolerating things they use to tolerate. The obsessive self monitoring that exhausted the 20s and 30s just loses its grip. What other people think, stops being the guiding principle of every single decision.
I have watched this so delightfully over the past 2 decades as I have travelled, meeting and witnessing so many free women. There is nothing more quietly ferocious than a woman who has stopped performing for an audience that never deserved the show in the first place, and never filled the seats either.
And then there is what happens to the body which mainstream medicine will tell you about in hushed, apologetic tones as if it is a diagnosis.
It is not a diagnosis my loves…It is a poetic upgrade.
After regen-opause, as oestrogen steps back, testosterone becomes the dominant hormone. Testosterone is the hormone of desire. Of want. Of I know exactly what I need and I am no longer pretending otherwise.
Women report their deepest, most unapologetic, most hungry sexual appetite in their 50s and beyond.
And your clitoris, the full internal structure of it, the part that extends deep inside your body like a wishbone and is so much larger than any Sex ed diagram ever showed you, does not stop developing at 20 or 30. As the hood recedes after regen-opause, more of it becomes exposed.
More accessible.
More responsive to exactly the right touch. And we only go for what is the right touch at this age!
I have worked with women who experienced their first cervical orgasm, their first full body orgasm, their first true boundaries around their time and pleasure in their 50s.
Our culture tells us our sexuality is winding down at this stage.
But I can tell you when I look around me personally all I can see is how all these women’s bodies had other plans.
The obsession with youth is not an accident as a young woman is still figuring out what she wants making her still susceptible to being told what she should want. Still working out which parts of herself to protect and which parts to offer up.
But a woman at 50, 55, 60? Oh boy lover. WE KNOW>
We have been through enough to know what is real and what is performance. What lights us up brighter than our family Xmas tree ,and what is just noise. What we will accept in a relationship and what she will not (oh how this is often a shock for our partners ) And by now we know how our body actually works, separate from every story we have been handed about how it should.
This kind of woman is not manageable.
She is not easily redirected or manipulated. as she is no longer in the market for products that promise to restore something she has been convinced she lost.
Women in their 50’s and 60’s are the most dangerous thing the attention economy has ever encountered.
It is the clearest, most unapologetic, most genuinely free version of yourself you have ever been.
So …just so you know..the happiness curve just goes up, my loves.
Come and speak with me if you are on this threshold and you want supportive company for it.
Always with Pleasure
M
💋