Recently I have been among so many female accounts on Instagram who has unprecedentedly gained 1000’s of male followers in a space of weeks. I have spent said weeks blocking, removing comments and reporting as death threats roll in, hate speech and comments on my age ( which seem to mostly come from very ugly over weight white men with trucks…so curious ) ..
The post that haas seemed ot spark this surge of trash into my world was my post on circumcision.
One of most passionate topics i have been speaking about for over 20 years.
And in the past 20 yrs when I have worked with men’s bodies, men’s pleasure, men’s nervous systems and the way men hold or lose their power in the bedroom, there is one conversation that sinks in as heavy as any of them.
Circumcision.
I grew up looking at the world through a lens where cutting a baby boy is rather strange. In most of Europe it is barely done unless the family is Jewish or Muslim. Giving birth to a baby boy who’s father is Muslim…. was one of my biggest challenges in not having my baby mutilated. I even started a women’s where we educated many couples including very Jewish couples in Sydney.
Then I watched American Circumcision on Netflix, and I realised how many men were never even told there was a question.
So let’s ask it.
“Everybody does it.”
They don’t.
America is the only industrialized country in the world that routinely circumcises baby boys for non-religious reasons. Walk through Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Berlin or Madrid and you are surrounded by intact men who are healthy, clean and having great sex. The “normal” you were raised with is a regional habit. It’s not a law of nature.
“It’s cleaner.”
Darling, it’s skin.
You wash it. Warm water, a little attention once it retracts on its own, which can take years in a boy. We do not remove a girl’s labia for hygiene. We do not trim eyelids to keep eyes tidy. A foreskin is a body part with a job, and the job is protection.
“It prevents infections.”
This is the one argument with real data behind it, so I’ll be straight with you. Circumcised baby boys do get fewer urinary tract infections. But only around one in a hundred intact boys gets one in the first place. Over a hundred healthy babies are cut to prevent a single infection, and that infection usually clears up with antibiotics. A short course of medicine on one side. A permanent surgery on a hundred boys on the other.
AND this infection has a lot to do with nappies… i mean encasing our babies bums with something to keep the shit and piss in…that is the issue we need to address more. Our children ( babies ) are actually always letting us kwow when they need ot pee or poo…. we just don’t take notice or listen.
When 38 European doctors answered the American Academy of Pediatrics, this was the only argument they gave any weight to. The HIV studies came from adult African men who chose the surgery themselves. Most of Europe has low circumcision rates and low HIV rates at the same time. A baby is not having sex and condoms exist.
“It doesn’t change anything sexually.”
This is where I get fired up.
The Royal Dutch Medical Association, a body representing tens of thousands of doctors, names the loss of up to 30% of erogenous tissue as one of the costs. The foreskin glides. It keeps the glans moist and sensitive. It is part of how the penis was designed to move inside a lover.
For many men this is where they get upset and many of the men who come to me, numb, rushing, chasing harder stimulation and often feeling disconnected, never knowing why, deserve to know what their body naturally started out with. Why? because i teach how to bring more sensitivity back
“He won’t remember.”
His mind won’t.
But his nervous system will.
Even the most pro-circumcision doctor in that documentary admits the pain changes behaviour in a lasting way. Some of the grown men in the film cry on camera about a loss of trust they can not fully explain. I’ve seen that same tightness in my clients when the subject comes up.
“Doctors started it for health.”
Doctors started it in the 1800s to stop boys masturbating.
The plan was to reduce sensation and kill the urge. Your pleasure was the target from day one. It is not a medical issue , it is a control and puritan issue.
“God says so.”
There are thousands of gods across human history. I respect faith deeply, and I also notice who is never asked. The baby.
And even inside the traditions, the story is not that simple. The Quran does not mention circumcision once. It comes from later teachings. In Judaism there is Brit Shalom, a covenant ceremony that welcomes a son into the faith without a blade, and more than 150 rabbis will perform it. The Reform movement stopped requiring circumcision for adult converts back in 1892. Faith still has a way of surviving when the barbaric rituals evolve.
“It’s the parents’ choice.”
In 2010 the Dutch doctors called non-therapeutic circumcision of boys a violation of a child’s right to autonomy and bodily integrity. In 2012 a German court in Cologne ruled it bodily injury. The Nordic children’s ombudsmen say boys should decide for themselves. We already protect girls from any genital cutting so why the double standard?
So where does that leave you?
If you are cut, I want you to know your body is not ruined and your pleasure is not over. As I have watched men find whole new layers of sensation, stamina and presence through breath, slowness and nervous system work. Your penis is still connected to your heart, your belly and your spine. And understanding and working with this connection is where so much power lies.
If you are about to become a father, I am inviting you to pause. Let your son keep the body he arrived in.
Let him choose at 18, with all of the information, if he wants to change it.
That choice is the most masculine gift you’ll ever give him.
Your body. his Body.
Your pleasure, his Pleasure
Your sovereignty…and he needs it as well.
M
❤️