We are handed a very small map of sex.
A map where pleasure solely lives in the genitals.
A map where arousal equals urgency, and the goal is to get to the finish line.
Most men were never taught anything else other than erection = masturbation or need for sex= ejaculation and most women were taught to by pass their need to slowly open which in turn has so many women believing they take too long.
So many switch off, push aside what their body needs and cater to her partner.
Women do not take too long.
Men do not take long enough.
I want to share with you what happens when a man moves beyond that map.
In my work, I teach that a man’s sexual energy does not begin nor end below the belt. A mans arousal is not purely towards sex. It is his arousal towards is life. His mission, His desire for more in and for life.
A mans map of arousal is Cock-Heart- Head. I teach men to move there arousal up through their body from his cock to his heart, so he is present and open to his partner, and then into his head, where he can then move from seeing what she needs and how he can serve it.
Why ?
Because a woman does not experience the same sexual map and she needs to feel connected in order for her body to open with arousal. When a mans is heart-open, then head-clear it is a very different experience of sex than pure urgency. It is also the first step of spiritual maturity in intimacy, moving from adolescent, self centered pleasure to a presence and deep inclusion of someone else.
The Taoist dual cultivation texts and tantric teachings describe how the woman’s map of arousal begins with the head, moves through the heart, and only then arrives to her pussy. We need to feel connected, seen, considered and adored before we can open. Our body is often in constant protection mode. This why safety (of the heart as well as physical ) is paramount. Safety breeds eroticism.
This is one of the places I am always seeing men and women most often miss each other. A man who rushes toward the genitals is following his map in order to “produce” something so he can feel, where as his woman is feeling unseen, exhausted and disconnected only closes down.
When I teach men to raise the power of his sexual energy up into his heart and head, not only does it make an immense differenc einhow he approaches his woman, he experiences himself and is powerful energy in ways that have been so foriegn to him until that moemnt.
It is one of my most loved moments of my work.
Sometimes, just sometimes, it brings up disbelief and anger. Anger at how they have been conditioned to live inside of this adolescent style of sexual relating, separate from all tis powerful energy.
And for his woman..she can relax. She can open. She feels that she is being met, not used. And she can open to him in a way that a man constantly chasing his own release rarely gets to see.
Sex, in this view, is designed to help a woman feel more. Its purpose is not only his pleasure and when he experiences that, he becomes less of a performer or producer and more of a servant of her experience, which is one of the most deliciously grounded forms of masculine power I know.
Dont worry dear men..what this means is YOU GET ADORED MORE..believe me I have many men come to me expressing how their women don’t and wont honour or adore them through their Cock…… but when they change this first, the adoration of his Cock soon follows
Our culture keeps many men in the energy of adolescence sex. Sex is about proving, performing, or escaping, and men are often kept disconnected from their own feelings during the very moments that could open them up.
This week, I invite you to try one small experiment. Next time you are thinking of sex and want to initiate, don't start by initiating for sex. Initiate connection. Replace the domesticated text message of “hi. how was your day?” or “I am on my way home” with something that represents that she is YOUR LOVER.
Have you stopped using the sweet and sexy words you use to when you met?
Have you stopped walking into the house and seeing what needs doing?
Have you stopped running her a bath?
If you have stopped these things, have you noticed she has stopped wanting sex with you?
This my loves is the dychotomy of domestication.
Eroticism does not live in domestication.
Speaking of being stuck in adolescent style arousal, how confident do you feel at lasting as long as she needs?
One of the major fallouts of our domestication and cortisol driven lifestyles, is that men are suffering in their sexual power at rates never seen before.
And that is why I created an easy practical short program for men where I teach the easy to follow trainings on how to build your stamina and last as long as she needs you to in the bedroom.
'MAN IN CONTROLis how to last as long as she wants and give her all the pleasure she needs.
Dont fret gentlemen (and women) ORAL PLEASURE MASTERYis my program where I teach women how to honour your Cock like it is the only thing worth doing in her life.
It is going to be a fun Sunday night lovers.
Always with Pleasure
M
❤️