Every single week i listen to men, some 6 foot tall, some just coming out of a cross fit class onto our call and others coming out of their 3rd marriage, as they admit they did not go and speak to the woman they were taken by because they were afraid of rejection.
Another constant conversation I am in with men is their confusion why a woman would take their number, or give them their number, and not reply when they reached out.
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This is why………..
And to tell you why, I need to basically rip apart the story that is continuing to be sold to you in all of the polarity circles, Mano-sphere agendas, western white man religions and so on.
Men are constantly told that they are the protector and providers of women.
Yet…a man who is afraid of the word no…. is not therefor a protector……
(keep reading , as this is NOT a man bashing email. at all……. I am deconstructing the lie so we can bloody well move forward…together….. The truth is, wether we want to admit it or not, ….we are currently in a great change of humanity. About the 7th really since 70 000 yrs ago…and we are in a split one…AI one way and human relating the other….which side are you on? )
I have worked with 1000’s of men on their own and within their relationship and what I see all the time is how they take their wife’s, partners or woman friends feedback as if it were an attack. And how they take to heart the thought of a woman rejecting them
Why…?
because a mans primal job is to detect threat. They would sit outside of the village parameters, up in their kings castle towers, the tribes fire circle etc etc scanning for threat. A mans brain is tethered to find the danger and neutralize it. He is on constant look out.
Where as a woman’s nervous system is tethered to protect..which she is doing through her felt sense. She is the original protector as she grows and protects the HUMAN RACE inside of her body….
A woman never has a thought on its own. She always has a feeling before every single thought. She is designed to read a room and to de-escalate anything before it starts. In current day living she does this by fawning, going quiet, smoothing things over with a fake little laugh and agreeing to give a number. She is protecting herself from potential situations by softening them. It is a woman’s protective nature to stay small in order to keep the peace.
and no… this is not weakness my loves. This is fierceness on high alert… protection that predates your ability to swing a weapon by about 70,000 years.
Women are not looking for threats.
They are constantly navigating them. ..
Which is why women make up roughly 78–80% of all autoimmune disease diagnoses (lupus, MS, rheumatoid arthritis, Hashimoto's, and more), as we carry this extreme stress in our bodies from constant protection of the space around us..
Women metabolize danger through our bodies and make the moment safe enough to survive.
These are two completely different nervous systems doing two completely different jobs. And when they are in coherence of one another in community…..( of an average of 300 people supporting one another ) it is pure magic.
so.. a little recent white persons history for you.
In the early Christian church, women actually heavily served as deacons and Priests, inside of communal homes. This erasure came by the Council of Nîmes, 394. Pope Gelasius I formally condemned it in 494. The Council of Epaone banned the consecration of women deaconesses. And when the women kept showing up for their spiritual work..they were excommunicated by the Second Council of Orleans in 533.
By stripping women of their spiritual power they were also removed from the ability to gather and flourish inside of what women do so well, ……………………communal power. In community women provide for everyone…as well as themselves. And this ability to do so was legislated out of existence one council at a time.
Monogamous marriage, formalized and moralized by the church into law across every Christian nation was the follow up of removing a woman’s ability to protect all children and provide safety and nurturance for all in the community. The Monopoly ( what was coined monogamous ) structure meant communal child rearing was replaced by the closed nuclear trauma inducing household. With that… guess who got positioned as the sole provider, the sole protector and therefor one person responsible for everything?
Man.
and they were not handed that title because we all biology mutated and within a century men were uniquely qualified to protect and provide for community and children like women are. They got handed the job and title because every single other form of protection was dismantled around them, creating a structure that became a load for one man to carry that a community of women use to carry..
Men…how the hell can you look out for threats for your nuclear family when you are distracted and busy doing what about 36 people use to do…?
and the most damaging part for ALL of us is that…since then, life for women and children have not gotten safer under a mans sole protection. We have gotten less safe, more isolated and more trapped in the very households that were supposed to protect us.
Men…. look at this way…when your nervous system is carrying the entire job of “detect threat, respond to threat,” especially whilst it is also being demanded to provide and protect… it has to start treating everything that undermines that job as a threat.
This is how your wife’s feedback becomes a threat to your competence.
Her disagreement becomes a threat to your authority and a woman’s rejection of a “no” becomes a threat to you.
A brain that detects a threat is unable to listen as it is in defense mode.
and then there is ………how we women feel everything…
we feel our way through the world…
so when you are afraid of her rejection as you speak to her, fumble to ask for her number etc, your nervous system is already in defence mode before you even open your mouth and she can feel it. And that fear based energy reads as something she needs to protect herself from, so she placades the scenario to make sure the “threat” does not escalate.
In relationships…this is where a woman will not ask for her needs for YEARS….. and put up with lack luster connection, still sign the mortgage agreement even though the sex does nothing for her, and keep on looking after the kids for years inside of a house she is not cherished in.
How she protects herself is she disappears into silence.
And a man will keep on going to do the work of 36 people, too busy, overwhelmed and distracted to truly protect the emotional temperature of the relationship..because he does not see the silence or distance as a direct threat…..
…..
and lover you don’t fix this by trying harder to be the sole protector. You fix it by getting your nervous system out of threat detection mode long enough to actually show up.
A man who can hear his woman’s feedback without flinching and can sit with her “no” without internally collapsing and running away, is a powerful man. A man who can be steady with who she is a woman and understand she is giving real time feedback of what she is protecting, ..that is a man who is a protector of the space they are in… and that is a man who MOVES women. ( often onto her knees…. ☺️ )
And this is where the UPLVL communication system is so god powerful. The freedom it gives men to not have to try and find a solution and women the freedom to truly be able to say what they need to instead of swallowing it down for years..
In the next few days I will be sharing with you what the men I work with say about it ( well one man did not say much as he was speechless at how freeing it was for him. Like nothing he has ever tried before..)
We are in a massive split right now lovers…. AI one way and deep life changing human relating the other.
Which side are you on?
Always with a little eye opening history lesson and of course pleasure
M
❤️
If you are a couple stuck in circular arguments, feeling like you get a few steps forwards and then fall back into old issues over and over again.
or if you are silent more than you knwo you want to be because yu are afraid to authentically say what you want to say to the person who you have a mortgage and kids with…. lets get on a call to discuss how this system can change ALL of that for you
xx I look forward to it.