We all know that story we have been handed…. about the orgasm destination. That wil be granted to you by the right man, the right technique, the right amount of time that will eventually unlock the door and in you will walk. tah dah…
And if he did not get you there….well, either he failed or there is something wrong with you. Oh gorgeous one it is one of the most expensive lies us women have been sold.
My love…..you are not waiting for an orgasm.
because you are one.
The tantrics understood this something that we have spent centuries unlearning. And that is that the feminine is not in search of ecstasy.
SHE IS ecstasy.
Shakti, the great creative force of the universe, is not a concept. She is the pulse behind all of it.
The actual breath of life itself.
The force that makes the flower crack through concrete and the tide pull against the shore and the labouring woman forget every other moment she has ever lived.
That force lives in your body.
Not as a hoped for potential. Not as something to be unlocked by the right circumstances with the right partner.
But ss what you already are.
The tantric texts speak of the universe itself as an orgasm of consciousness. Shiva and Shakti, awareness and energy, in a state of perpetual union. The feminine principle is not the one waiting to be pleasured because she is the pleasure.
She is the creative, electric, life generating force that the masculine exists in relationship to.
My love..you carry that in your body every single day.
Come with me and feel it for a moment.
The breath coming in is not neutral. It is an orgasmic movement. The chest opening, the belly soft, the inhale pulling all the way down before the long exhale releases. In tantric practice, the breath alone can move a woman into states most people only reach after considerable effort. Because the breath is life force and this life force in a woman’s body is already ecstatic.
Your movement is orgasmic. The way you walk when you are not performing for anyone. The stretch of your arms above your head in the morning. The swing of your hips when a song catches you unaware. Your body knows a language that has nothing to do with what is happening in the bedroom.
Your voice is orgasmic. The sound of your laughter when it comes from deep in the belly and surprises even you. The low mmm of something tasting extraordinary. The involuntary sound when you lower yourself into a hot bath after a long day.
Your nurturing is orgasmic. The particular quality of presence that a woman has when she is loving someone with her full body, when her hands know instinctively where to go, when she is not thinking but just being with another person in their pain or their joy. That is not separate from your erotic nature. It is the same force, moving differently.
Your rage is orgasmic. ( I know. Stay with me. ) In tantra, the fierce goddess Kali, Durga, the one who dances on the chest of what has tried to diminish her, is not outside of the erotic. She is the full expression of it. Rage that is true, that rises in defence of what matters, is Shakti at full voltage. Your anger is not a malfunction. It is the same creative energy that generates your pleasure, just in a different tone.
Your desire is orgasmic. Not just the desire for sex, but the desire that makes you lean toward the thing that calls you, that makes you reach for beauty, for meaning, for more than what you have been offered. That reaching is oh so erotic. It is longing as life force in motion.
You are doing this all day.
So why, in the bedroom, has so much of this gone missing?
Because we handed the power over to someone else.
We have been handed this script to wait and receive.
To be pleasured rather than to pleasure ourselves from within and let him witness it. We made his skill ( or lack of it ) the piece that gives us result. And in order to do so, we left our own bodies.
Gorgeous one, a man cannot give you an orgasm, because you already are one.
A man’s incredible gift to you is to create the space and environment in which your body feels safe enough to open and surrender into your erotic. That is not a small thing. It is actually enormous. But it is fundamentally different from being the source.
The container matters. This is what a man in your erotic space is the master of. When he is present, not performing, not rushing, not anxious about his own adequacy, your nervous system registers all of this, and it is your nervous system that is the gatekeeper of everything.
A woman’s body does not open under threat.
It does not open when it is waiting to be failed.
It does not open when part of her is watching, judging, managing, wondering if this is okay or if she is taking too long.
It opens when it feels held.
Not held down.(….ok sometimes 😜 )
But held as in, I am here, I am not going anywhere, I can handle what ever comes out of you, I am not in a hurry, and I am completely unbothered by how long this takes.
In that container, in that quality of masculine presence, the woman’s body remembers what it always was. And the orgasm that moves through her….. it was given to her by him, it came from her.
This is what I support my female clients to be…the woman who remembers…….
that she never needed to be given what she has always already been.
oh gorgeous one.
You are the orgasm.
You have always been the orgasm.
Now go and have a glorious wk end you delicious thing
💋
M