Although this may ruffle a few feathers ( anyone else remember the ruffles chips? growing up in Australia… they were my fav..any hoo ) it needs to be said. Now more than ever. Especially with another new wave of semen terrorism…where men ( sorry..boys..as they may have adult bodies ..but are acting like boys that hate women..which they obviously do ) are throwing their ejaculate over women in the street…and masturbating inside of Dollar stores, titled “tagging” or sharking”
I could write an entire series on how the lack of sexual education and the pushing of a “puritan” culture actually creates more violence and more depression among us humans when it comes to sex, but not today……
Needless to say..everything you have been taught about sex, and not via good sacred deeply informing education . but by porn, locker room snide remarks and false tales, by the movies and the silence of parents who never spoke about it properly, not di dit well themselves anyway…. has been almost entirely wrong and completley upside down. This “wrongness” is costing you your health, your relationships, and your aliveness.
So on this Sunday afternoon lets talk about what sex actually is, because it is so much more than what you have been told. ( or not told )
The lie is bullied onto us that sex is about a release. The story most men inherited goes something like this. Get aroused, pump, ejaculate, and done.
Mission accomplished.
Roll over.
Repeat when required.
This is not sex. This is a biological transaction that has somehow been dressed up as intimacy. And it leaves both people involved, every single time, more empty than before.
Western culture, big business and the church have spent centuries trying to bury what Ancient Taoist and Tantric traditions teach. Sex is not an act that you do. It is a place you go. A state you enter together where expansion and co creation is weaved together. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
The Taoists were very explicit about this. They understood that sexual energy, called jing, the life force, is the most potent creative intelligence in the human body. And they built entire practices around circulating it, alchemising it, using it to heal and restore and elevate. Not wasting it into a bin or down the drain. But investing and cultivating it in the body and in the relationship.
In life itself.
And what the pump pump then release model gets catastrophically wrong is that it is entirely oriented around the male body’s fastest possible response. And the female body does not work that way. A woman’s body is not designed for that at all as she is not a faster version of the same thing. A woman’s body s a completely different map and mechanism which requires time, presence, and genuine safety to open at all.
This is the the entire point of a heterosexual man in sex .. to raise his sexual energy up his spine so he can meet, hold and stand strong fro his female lover..other wise he can just masturbate…
And good ole.”modern” research confirms what we use to be taught before books by men wanting control were written, that people with secure emotional bonds experience higher sexual satisfaction and responsiveness. The female body, her arousal, her pleasure, her capacity for the kind of orgasm that genuinely nourishes both people involved, requires the nervous system to feel safe first. When the vagus nerve senses safety, it sends signals throughout the system that it is okay to relax, connect, and experience truck loads of pleasure. When there is a sense of danger or even the sense of needing to rush, it shifts the entire physiology toward protection and is in fight or flight.
When sex is goal oriented, fast, and focused on one person’s release, especially if that one person is rushing because he cant last as long as she needs the female body is, almost always, still arriving at the door when the whole thing is over. And she learns, slowly, to stop bothering to arrive at all and stops seeking out her partner.
Women stop wanting sex that does not work for them.
This is not a problem or defect int he female body….. it is an education issue.
Becuase sex is designed as your medicine. When done with presence and intention, where all emotions are safe and used as a tool to alchemize your life together, it is one of the most powerful emotional processing tools available to human beings. The limbic system ( the emotional brain ) is activated during sex whilst the cerebral cortex, responsible for rational thought, becomes less active. Sex is not meant to be a constant distraction from your emotional life, but an incredible doorway into it.
This is the place where grief can move. Where anger can be alchemized and softened. Where the week’s weight can be metabolised through the body rather than carried into the next one. Where two people can come back to each other after distance or the difficulty of the relentless grind of ordinary life, and remember why they chose each other.
Sex is meant to be the core of your relationship. Not this add-on if you are lucky enough that week. And definitely NOT a reward for good behaviour. Not something you get to when everything else is handled. It is the place you go to handle everything else. Your sexual relationship is the maintenance. It is designed to be the nourishment and the thing that keeps the roots of a relationship alive underground when everything above the surface looks ordinary.
It becomes the place where you are most yourself.
Where the armour comes off.
Where you are constantly being discovered to be known.
It regulates your nervous system building trust at a cellular level and it processes emotion that words cannot reach. It also keeps you physically healthy. It is your internal pharmacy for immune function, hormonal balance, cardiovascular health and sleep. It reminds both of you that you are not just housemates and co-parents and business partners in a shared life, but that you are lovers.
Chosen.
Wanted.
and alive to each other.
That is what sex is for. To be a homecoming. Every single time.
THIS is why men use to be trained to master their sexual energy..so they could tak epart in what ses is designed for.
and THIS is why I teach what I do.
ON August 6th my next 6 week live program for men starts..FULLY CHARGED. Not only will you learn ways to last longer, separate your orgasm from your ejaculation, pattern interrupting when it comes to your sexual energy and how to raise all that goodness up to your brain. But you will have learn an overall system regarding your pelvic health. We spend an entire week learning all about the woman’s body and her sexual maps of arousal. You will learn how to become a Pussyologist and how to lengthen and strengthen your Cock…yes it is possible. We will also be doing some shadow work…to move forward we need to spend some time releasing what is holding us where we are.
If you have been sitting on the fence..some of you for years now…. the only thing that is true..is that if you keep on doing the same thing over and over again…expecting a different result…then that is partaking in insanity.
it is time lover.
The world needs men to actually understand the true power of their sexual energy… it is a part of the revolution that is needed and I am doing my part in pushing it forward.
Come join us…
Always with Pleasure
M
❤️
Melissa Louise is an UPLVL Coach working with men, women, and couples on emotional truth, sexual sovereignty, and the kind of intimacy that actually nourishes. To work with Me, send a DM or book a discovery call here