I hear through a few channels that people are too nervous or intimidated to talk to me because they think I am not an advocate of a 2 person relationship…
And they could not be further from the truth.
Yes….. I write a lot about the deconstruction of a society that has us living in a trauma based existence that is about profit not people.
Yes…….. through all my research and the writing of my book ( big ass novel, truth be told ) the rabbit holes I am constantly in have me exposing the lie we have been spoon fed re human nature and relationships…and I write about it..
Yes…as a woman I will not be congenial and quiet about how religion is so f*cking dangerous for the sovereignty of women….and how it is filled with coercion of one sex to a-pease the other……. this does not mean I do not like men…. it means I question the system they and we are raised in….
Yes….I fucking well LOVE men… but I know they are weakened and gas lit by a culture that does not want them to know their true power so gives them a false sense of power… that is violent ..and against their own bodies even.
Yes… i know that living in community is so much better for our health wealth and child rearing…… but does that mean I think everyone should be having s*x with everyone ..? F*CK NO……
What all this does mean is this..
every single week I speak to between 15 and 25 men in a 1:1 capacity and then about 50 to 60 more in group sessions.
I work and speak to women daily….. about their lives relationships and love.
And out all of these people I work with I yet have met a couple or spoken to someone who has said..oh yes… I feel so free and safe to be truly authentic in my relationship.
I have people tell me “ I always tell the truth to my partner”
then I ask one simple question and they look sheepish and say..”oh no, i would not say that…”….
for even those who pride themselves on “truth” they spend so much time modulating. Responding with assumptions. With holding …. so as not to rock the boat.
Our primal brains are wired to keep us safe.to keep us from dying… that is it…
our brains don’t give a rats razoo if we are happy or living in pleasure… because if it tethered us to pleasure…we could die……
And its job is to keep us from dying…pure and simple…..
As Esther PEerel says…”tell me how you were raised, and I will tell you how you love”
Part 2 and 3 of the UPLVL™ system is looking at this part. The history that ahs us being triggered, the present hangups we have of our partner or others that we secretly want to be doing, and the parts of ourselves that actually desire to be doing the same,… the power of the 3 way mirror is life changing. it is where we get to see all of our own parts within every situation.
So no, I am in no way shape or form against 2 person relationships ( i refuse to call them monogamous as unless I am talking to someone who has only had sex with ONE person their entire life and only when they were ovulating, then one CANNOT be monogamous…).
But what I am against is this…..
Two people in a relationship where they feel they are not truly fee to express themselves without the other person taking it personally.
I am against a relationship that is hanging by a thread whilst all other aspects have everyones attention… the work, the 2 new cars, the kids sports events, the renovation, the Disney holiday and yet they…have no time..no space.
I am against a relationship that has no agreements. That does not have regular check in dates, regular clearing dates, regular intimacy dates and regular intimate and sex skill accumulation.
I am against two people deciding to split the business, the cars, the home and the kids just because of “sex”..with another or none at all.
I am against two people living in the same home yet feeling like they are continents apart and believe that “this is it”
I am against complacency when it comes to one of the most important factors of our existence.
I am not against an exclusive relationship at all. It is one of the most beautiful commitments we have to offer someone…..
….. my inquiry is….. what are you truly offering one another?
As a priest once said.. every single relationship is going to end terribly..every single one of them..either by illness…death or separation… so what are you doing with it until then?
Want to UPLVL your communication and sex lives?
book a call with me here and lets talk
Melissa. ❤️
with pleasure
x